Hello everybody and welcome to my blog! I hope you are all doing well and thank you for checking out this post!
I am a person who lacks motivation. I suffer anxiety attacks, I have ‘down days’, I have days where all I want to do is curl up on the sofa and sleep. It has gotten worse over the years as I deal with more ‘adult’ responsibilities, and I got to the point in my life where I genuinely gave up on myself. It put a strain on my relationship and on my mental state. I felt completely hopeless and useless. That was until I discovered an amazingly brilliant lady called Mel Robbins.
Mel Robbins is an American motivational speaker and life coach. I never listened to motivational speeches, and they never really had an affect on me other than “oh, that’s interesting”, or “oh, that was inspiring”, but nothing would go further than that. However, Mel Robbins has had a huge impact on my life. She battled anxiety, alcohol addiction, relationship strains, and financial difficulties with one simple tool: counting down 5-4-3-2-1.
Her book is a number 1 best seller, and her TEDx Talk has hit 15 million views. She talks about her own personal journey, and how she overcame all her problems and built herself into the person who she WANTED to be. This tool is what is called a ‘starting ritual’ to give you the push to do the things that you do not want to do. This could be anywhere from getting out of bed on time, going to the gym, asking for that promotion, starting a business, and even going as far to cure anxiety. Mel claims that since using the rule, she no longer has anxiety attacks – she doesn’t even worry! That is something that I can’t even imagine what would be like, but something I aim to do.
But, what is the 5 Second Rule and how does it work? The premise is that you have 5 seconds to turn an impulse into an action before the HABIT of self-doubt, hesitation, and fear kicks in and kills it. Counting down from 5 interrupts the little thoughts in your head trying to talk you out of doing something, and instead engages the pre-frontal cortex which is needed to make the changes in your life. It is a tool designed to break the bad habits to introduce new ones.
In the book she includes how to stop procrastinating and increase productivity, how to gain confidence and courage, how to stop worrying, and basically how to gain fulfilment in your life.
What is so refreshing about Mel Robbins is her honesty. She writes in a matter-of-fact manner and cuts out the BS. She is honest about her experience, her journey, and her faults – something everybody should learn to do (not beating yourself up about it, but forgiving yourself to learn to grow). It makes her relatable and as I was reading, I found myself in Mel’s shoes – not wanting to get out of bed and face the day, not wanting to exercise, not wanting to look for or change jobs. These are all things that I was either currently going through or had previously gone through. Relating to someone made me feel like I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t a failure.
The book also includes testimonials of people who have used the 5 Second Rule to improve themselves. However, this takes over the book a little bit and it seemed as though they were used to bulk up the book a bit. I wish she had taken some out so she could go into detail, especially as some of the testimonials were the same story but with different people. Nonetheless, it was inspiring to see people using the rule to make themselves better. People who were once in your shoes, and now are achieving what they wanted.
Better yet, the rule is backed up by science. She goes through why the Rule works so well, as well as what is going on in your mind. She spent years researching into behavioural psychology and other areas to gather evidence to explain why it works so well. As a student in psychology, I love how she includes the research in her book. It shows that it isn’t a gimmick, and it is a true tool that can change behaviour.
So, how did this rule change my life?
As I said before, I suffer from frequent anxiety attacks that leave me with no motivation. After reading her book I learned how to use the Rule to beat motivation and get on with the things that I knew needed to be done, but didn’t have the energy to do so. I also learned how to use the Rule to catch the worry before it escalates into an attack and change my thought pattern. For example, when I find myself worrying about a job interview, instead I imagine me getting the job and my brains thinks “oh, she’s just excited to get the job!” and immediately cuts out the worry. Using the 5 Second Rule to get me into doing the yoga exercises has also really helped with learning to focus and deepen the breath, so when I do feel an anxiety attack come on I ‘5-4-3-2-1-BREATHE’ and slowly feel myself begin to calm down. Sometimes, I don’t catch myself but it’s something that I’m working on and already feel an improvement.
I have also seen an improvement in how I view myself and the world. I have learned to own up to my faults and forgive myself, so I can grow and improve as a person. I have become more ambitious and have gained the strength I need to push myself. I’ve gained belief in myself which I didn’t feel beforehand. I have fewer ‘down days’ and can say my days are more productive. And even if they aren’t – so what? I’ve begun applying to jobs that can help me with my career that otherwise would have been too afraid to apply for. I’ve stopped being scared that I will fail.
The 5 Second Rule book by Mel Robbins was an absolute blessing, and I discovered her at the right time when I needed her the most. She tells you what you need to hear, although most definitely do not WANT to hear. I thank her so much for changing my life for the better, and I have never felt prouder and more motivated to become the person I DESERVE to be.
I hope you enjoyed this blog post and it has inspired you to give yourself the push you need to become who you want to be. You can find the hardcopy book and audio book on Amazon (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Second-Rule-Surprisingly-Simple-Courage/dp/1682612384/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1534591511&sr=8-1&keywords=5+second+rule) and her TEDx Talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
Thank you so much for reading!
Jodie xx